HockeyFamilies

Mike Waddell

For the past 17 years it has been my privilege to serve alongside the Brandon Wheat Kings of the Western Hockey Club. For most of the 17 seasons the role I have carried is that of the Chaplain under the supervision of Hockey Ministries International.

When I first attended an NHL entry Draft I was there to be in close connection with several families from our region who were in attendance to be there when their sons’ names were called. In every situation multiple family members were present and in two of the cases there was a surprise delay in their being drafted which meant a restless night’s sleep and the emotion of not being called in the rounds which had been hoped for.

Both families handled the evening differently and the players were of course present the next morning when they were called by their respective NHL clubs to come down to the floor to receive a jersey, to go through the photo shoot and to find themselves inside yet another door of opportunity.

As I read the cover story in a recent edition of The Hockey News about the “Death of Hockey” in Canada I was deeply troubled.  As the parent of a Peewee hockey player who is still dreaming of playing hockey at a high level I know all too well the energy that hockey takes.  As we have come into our first season as a “rep team” family our learning curve has been steep.  The curve has been emotional, physical (and not just for our son!), and it has of course been financial.

The biggest discovery we have had to walk through is that this has required sacrifice on the part of our family, particularly on the part of my wife and I in the area of time together.  We only have one child in competitive hockey while our other three children are in activities such as refereeing hockey, music, rec hockey and football in season. We are going in different directions much of the time.

This leads me to the elephant in the room about the demographics around hockey that concern me.

Family as a construct has changed radically over the years but the demands of hockey have not changed in the same direction.  If anything the gap between how families run and how hockey operates has increased.

Hockey is, unlike the other three major league sports in North America- Basketball, Baseball and Football, equipment heavy, facility centered and program oriented.  This means that our kids can't just walk down the street or hop on the bus unsupervised and find their way to a hockey league where they will be seen by those in charge of each "next level".

Gone are the days and rare is the mythology of Scott Young’s “Scrubs on Skates” hero Bill Spunska jumping from new hockey player, to high school varsity team to an NHL training camp.

The one aspect of the story that is real however is the unwavering supporting “Bill” received from his family.

As I have served alongside the Wheat Kings and in supervising chaplains alongside dozens of other Junior Hockey clubs there is one common thread that is undeniable.

For players to achieve any level of success at any level there needs to be a supportive family structure. Period.

For some players it consists of grandparents, an aunt or uncle or even a very supportive neighbour but in most cases it is a traditional family unit of a mom and a dad who have driven, worked overtime and taxed all of their emotional resources to facilitate the dreams of a young player. Are there children from divided homes or single parent homes who achieve success in hockey?  Yes, but when you look closely there are always others who have spent time and energy back filling the missing support.

If we are going to discuss the death of hockey in Canada we can talk about immigration and increased entertainment opportunities that undermine the base of our game.  We can talk about these things but we also need to be prepared to talk about the changing reality of family structure in our country.  We need to talk about the fact that a decreasing number of families are still in a position to all pull in the same direction for the dreams of their children.

Hockey doesn’t just depend on it. In the long term our civilization depends on it.